The News At Never

Good afternoon.
There is no news today.

There are no wars.
There have been no terrorist attacks.
Nobody of note has died.
There is no news today.

There have been no political developments.
There has been no political unrest.
There have been no rallies.
There is no news today.

The White House has nothing to report.
Neither does Westminster.
All is quiet in the Kremlin too.
There is no news today.

Everything is just fine, ladies and gentlemen.
There is no news today.
Thank you.